


The Realization

by PimpedOutGreenEars



Series: All Teeth [2]
Category: Battle Royale (Manga), Battle Royale - All Media Types, Battle Royale - Takami Koushun
Genre: F/M, M/M, This is a deleted scene of sorts, This takes place prior to All Teeth, but if you haven't read All Teeth this will be a little confusing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PimpedOutGreenEars/pseuds/PimpedOutGreenEars
Summary: Yutaka struggles with Shinji's downward spiral. Izumi Kanai helps him come to a realization.The events that took place on the day Yutaka realized he didn't like Izumi anymore in the All Teeth universe.
Relationships: Izumi/Yutaka mentioned, Mimura Shinji/Seto Yutaka
Series: All Teeth [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991503
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	The Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this scene while I was writing All Teeth despite knowing that it would never make it into the fic (seeing as the fic is Shinji's pov). It was an important moment for Yutaka, so I had to write it out! Plus it helped me write the dialogue in All Teeth.   
> Anyway, I might write a couple of other missing scenes for this universe- we'll see!
> 
> Oh, also, I feel I have to say that Yutaka puts up with a lot from Shinji in this fic universe during the revolution. Please note that just because Yutaka sticks it out, doesn't mean everyone in a situation like this should. You can love someone and still not be able to be around them for your own mental health and well being.

By the time the last school bell rang, Yutaka felt like shit.

He figured he wasn’t alone in that. Plenty of kids ended the school day feeling that way. Maybe the day just felt long, or they failed a test, or they fought with a friend. He wasn’t the only one feeling a little fried and on the edge of tears. That was what he told himself.

He had been walking on eggshells with Shinji Mimura for days.

Shinji had come into school that morning just before the late bell, looking like hell— not that that was unusual anymore.

Yutaka hated to look at him sometimes. His face had morphed over the last year, the pressure of the war having finally gotten to him. The bags under his eyes were a dark purple and his cheeks were sunken in. Yutaka had been over to the Mimura household a few days prior and he still couldn’t get the image of Shinji shirtless out of his head. He’d known Shinji had lost weight, but with his school coat on it was hard to tell how much.

But Yutaka had seen him and felt sick. He was used to seeing Shinji muscular, always with some form of light ab definition. But that was gone, and Yutaka could start to see where Shinj’s skin was becoming tight over his ribs. When Shinji had turned his back and told him to leave, he’d been able to count knots in his vertebrae.

Really, Yutaka had been on thin ice with The Third Man since that day. When Yutaka had asked Shinji if he’d been eating, Shinji had gone off on him for not caring about the war and for treating him like he was a child. Yutaka had tried to defuse the situation, but he might as well have been trying to defuse a bomb. Once Shinji was mad there was no coming back from it, at least not for a while.

Today Shinji had nodded at him when he caught his eyes after the late bell. And during lunch they’d shared a couple of short sentences about who had cleaning duty before Shinji had skipped out.

It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for Yutaka to gear up to try talking to him again. He’d managed not to bother him for a couple of days, so he was hoping the right approach would be enough.

Yutaka caught up with Shinji at his locker. Shinji was already shutting it, and Yutaka wondered how long he would bother doing homework for. He had been doing it to maintain appearance, but at this point Yutaka wanted to tell him he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Hey, Shinji,” Yutaka said, catching Shinji’s attention.

“Hey,” Shinji replied as he began walking down the hallway toward the door.

Yutaka knew he should abort the mission. Shinji still wasn’t in the mood, and Yutaka was only going to make him mad again. Fuck, but Yutaka still couldn’t get over how bad he looked. Even now in his wrinkled school coat, Yutaka thought he looked like a zombie.

“Do you want to get some Udon with me? Just from the cart down the street. I know you’re probably too busy to—”

“I’m fine,” Shinji said, and he shot Yutaka a glare that was cold enough that a chill ran all the way down his spine.

Still Yutaka couldn’t shut up.

“I didn’t say—”

Shinji stopped, and he leaned down into Yutaka’s space, and, for a second, he was afraid. Shinji’s usually amused eyes were hard and at his current angle Yutaka almost didn’t recognize his face.

“We both know what you’re trying to say. And I told you, _I’m fine_. Stop pushing me.” Shinji said it all in a low tone, like he didn’t want the people passing them to hear that he was a second away from blowing his fuse and losing it on Yutaka.

But all Yutaka could focus on was ‘ _Stop pushing me.’_

Because if there was anything Yutaka hadn’t done, it was push him.

He wanted to get mad. He wanted to scream at Shinji in the hallway. He wanted to tell him that he was not fine. That he looked like shit, and he wasn’t eating, and he wasn’t keeping up appearances, and he was being a dick, and that Yutaka was fucking terrified that Shinji was going to kill himself before the government had the chance to. He wanted to say all of that. See if _that_ gave him a push.

But he was so tired, and he knew if he said any of that, he’d be the one having a breakdown in front of the entire student body. And there was a part of him that was still too scared to find out what Shinji’s reaction would be. He wasn’t ready for Shinji to tell him to get out of his life and mean it.

“Okay,” Yutaka said. He couldn’t look Shinji in the eye when he said it. He felt guilty and defeated.

For a second they both stood in the hallway together, Shinji still invading Yutaka’s personal space. Yutaka wondered if Shinji was going to get angrier.

Instead he heard Shinji sigh. And then, “Just mind your own business.” Shinji didn’t say it with any real bite, though. In fact, he sounded as tired as Yutaka felt. It was obvious that he didn’t want to fight either.

Yutaka nodded because he didn’t think he could say anything without bursting into tears or telling Shinji that it _felt_ like his business.

Shinji stood there for another second, but Yutaka couldn’t look at him. So when he turned and left toward the exit, Yutaka was still unsure how upset he was.

Yutaka didn’t head toward the exit and instead found the nearest boy’s bathroom. It was the end of the day so it was empty, which gave Yutaka a private place to cry. He sat in the last stall, a wad of paper towels shoved against his face as he cried as silently as possible. He wondered not for the first time how long things would be like this. He wondered if they’d ever get better.

He wasn’t sure how long he cried for, but eventually the tears stopped, and he cleaned himself up. When he left the bathroom the hallways were quiet, and Yutaka felt relief in that. His eyes were red and a little puffy, pretty obvious indicators that he’d just been crying at school.

He stopped at a vending machine on the way out and bought a bottle of water, hoping it’d make him feel better. It was as he was opening his bottle that he heard someone behind him.

“Seto?”

Yutaka jumped a little at the sound of Izumi Kanai’s voice as he turned to face her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Izumi said, her hand shooting out as though to steady him.

“No, it’s okay. I just didn’t realize anyone was still here,” Yutaka said, relaxing a little.

“Oh, yes, for cleaning duty. A few of us traded days during lunch,” Izumi explained, speaking softer than she had been before.

_Probably explains where Shinji went._

“Was Shinji in on the trading?” Yutaka asked, striving to sound casual.

“Yes,” Izumi looked a little reserved then, like she was deciding how much to tell him. “Truthfully, he was the one who was looking to switch days. It got complicated because only a couple of us were willing to trade in a way that would help him.”

“Because he’s missed his cleaning days?” Yutaka asked, although he already knew the answer.

Izumi nodded solemnly. “A couple of the girls said I shouldn’t have agreed to help him, but he looks…”

_Like a truck hit him?_

_Like he forgot the location of his shower?_

_Like he’s going to drop dead and there’s nothing I can do about it?_

“Yeah, I know,” Yutaka said instead of filling in the blank. They both knew how he looked.

“Is he okay?” Izumi asked.

Yutaka hesitated because, no, no he was not okay. He was so obviously not okay, and Yutaka felt like he was the only one seeing it sometimes. He’d tried to talk to Shuya about it once, but Shuya had only had praises for him. Shinji was working hard and knew what he could take, so there was no reason to worry, blah, blah, blah.

But he didn’t want to tell anyone else how he felt. He didn’t want to admit how bad things were to another person. He just wanted to fix it. Or he wanted one of Shinji’s other friends to fix it. Anything but to tap out and admit that Shinji was broken and couldn’t be repaired.

“He’s… in a rough spot. But he’ll be okay,” Yutaka finally said.

Izumi nodded. Then, “Are you okay?”

She asked with such sincerity that for a second Yutaka was caught off guard. It was in that moment that it finally dawned on him that he was talking to Izumi Kanai, the girl he’d liked for almost three years. It was jarring to realize that he’d talked to her and hadn’t felt any nervousness or that buzz under his skin that he always had when he’d talked to her in the past.

“I hope I’m not overstepping my boundary,” she said when Yutaka didn’t answer. She looked a little nervous, but mostly just concerned. “But that’s actually what I came over here to ask. I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. The classroom has been so quiet without your jokes. It’s almost eerie.”

Yutaka frowned. He supposed he hadn’t been himself lately. It was hard to be himself when Shinji wasn’t being himself.

“And with Mimura how he is right now… I just want to make sure you know that… That we notice, or _I_ notice, when you aren’t being yourself. And I’m a great listener if you need one.” Izumi’s cheeks were a little pink as she extended the offer awkwardly.

Yutaka should be happy. That was what he kept telling himself. Izumi was the girl of his dreams, and she was there comforting him. She was telling him that she _noticed_ him. That she was there to talk to.

A year ago things couldn’t have been bad enough to take away from a moment like that. But now it wasn’t like that. Yutaka thought she was being nice, and he appreciated it. But when he looked at her, she suddenly wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world. She was just a girl.

All he could think of were Shinji’s ribs.

And then the realization hit him so hard that he almost laughed.

Izumi looked surprised at the sudden change of his facial features, but he composed himself before she could say anything.

“You’re not overstepping,” Yutaka assured her. “Actually, I think you just helped me figure something out that I’ve been too dumb to realize.”

“I did?” Izumi asked before looking slightly embarrassed at having asked out loud.

“You really did, Kanai,” Yutaka said. “I can’t explain, but I appreciate it. Really.”

Izumi smiled at him then. “As long as it means you’ll start feeling better again, I guess I don’t need an explanation.”

Yutaka couldn’t help but think that whoever ended up with Izumi would be very lucky.

“I’ll try,” Yutaka promised.

They then said their goodbyes and Yutaka headed toward the udon stand he’d mentioned to Shinji earlier with a renewed determination. He was getting Shinji the damn noodles whether he wanted them or not.

Because he was in love with him.

Because he wasn’t willing to stand around and watch his best friend kill himself.

Yutaka was tired and drained. He felt like shit. He didn’t want to fight.

But for Shinji he would fight, even if the person he had to fight was Shinji himself. And if Shinji did tell him to go away, if he said it and sounded like he meant it? Fine. But Yutaka wouldn’t go away. Yutaka wasn’t going anywhere.

He would love him through it. Because Yutaka wasn’t willing to give up on Shinji, whether he liked it or not.

Shinji might have been falling apart, but Yutaka was willing to gather up the pieces of him as they fell to stick him back together. Yutaka might not be the best builder, but he wouldn’t stop trying. If nothing else, he wouldn’t stop trying.

He just hoped it’d be enough. He hoped loving him would be enough.


End file.
